Always on Time

To the ones chasing a dream: I’ve been where you are; You’re working hard at something to be successful and to prove yourself.  And even if you get exactly what you want and the sun shines on you for a time, it won’t be long till you’re left with a void.  Sound familiar?  You’re not alone.

For me, the dream was training and competing horses.  I took horses to the top levels of competition, got to travel and show all over the country, won world championships, belt buckles, trophies and prize money, all to be left feeling unsatisfied, like there must be something more.  I did the early mornings, the long, desolate drives across the country, the searching for meaning but never quite found it in the world.

Nothing changed until I realized that I had lost track of my relationship with Jesus.  It didn’t happen overnight; I grew up in church, active in the youth group and on the worship team, but when I became an adult and left home, the importance of faith and relationship with Christ was not solidified enough for me to see a reason to maintain it, so I slowly drifted away.  With each decision I made for my own gain, I moved a little further away.  This gave way to plenty of mistakes and regrets in trying to do life on my own strength.  Often, I fell short, missed the mark, or sometimes even did harm while trying to do good.  This is the fate of humans in a fallen world.  We were never meant to carry the burden ourselves.

“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40‬:‭31‬

There comes a point in everyone’s life where they realize they are at the end of themselves; their ability, their talent, their strength.  When I hit this wall training horses, I was exhausted, both mentally and physically.  Yes, I had plenty of success, but I realized that I could not carry on like this.  It was too heavy, I was tired of trying to handle things on my own.

My return to a relationship with Jesus didn’t happen overnight, either.  It was a slow crawl back. First, I realized that all the self-help books that I had been reading weren’t taking away the weight on my shoulders.  I started going back to church on a regular basis.  It was painful at first as I started to address one by one the ways I had gone astray and ask for healing and forgiveness, but I didn’t let that stop me.  I had created a thick shell around myself to function in a highly competitive world.  As God helped me peel back the layers, it got a little easier.  I felt lighter.  The more I surrendered the things I was never meant to carry and let the Lord lead me, the more peace I found.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭28‬-‭30‬ ‭

God led me to meet my husband, Adam in 2024 and we were married in July 2025.  Adam is such a blessing as he helps me grow even closer to the Lord.   We’re surrounded by people who are Christ followers in our family and community.  We study together, encourage each other, live together, and grow together.  I now realize I was never meant to be isolated and apart from this sort of community.  That’s where the enemy took its grip without me realizing.

We were made in Christ’s image.  How wonderful to be given the choice to follow the likeness of our creator!  No animal has ever been given that choice; but every human, whether they are aware of it or not, has an eternal choice to make: To let the Lord lead, or to try to do it on their own strength.  God is patient and full of grace, and no matter how many times we make the wrong choice, he is still right there with an open invitation, waiting for us to turn from our ways and follow him.  Some of us learn quickly, some of us have to hit rock bottom, but all of us will see Jesus face to face in the end.

I want to run into my father’s arms on that day, knowing that he is mine and I am his.  Knowing that I was a good and faithful servant, not by my works, but by my willingness to follow.

A horse’s willingness to follow its trainer’s guidance determines how it advances.  One that surrenders both body and mind to be sculpted by the trainer is at peace, trusting that trainer will guide it in the way it should go.  What we look for in a good horse parallels what Christ wants in a relationship with us; it was right under my nose the whole time, I just couldn’t see it.

I have a tattoo on my left arm that sums up my testimony in imagery.  Symbolism has a way of saying what would take 1,000 words to convey, but here’s the gist: I tried to do life on my own strength and failed; since I am a human in a fallen world, I will never see clearly without the guidance of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.   What a gift that he came to this earth and walked among us, to be the example that we all needed to see. He took the weight of the world on his shoulders so we don’t have to, he paid the price on the cross for our wrongs, and all he desires is that we ask him to come into our hearts and follow him.  No one knows me better, no one sees the world and all that is in it more clearly than Jesus.

I’m grateful for those life experiences that shaped my path and led me back into my Father’s arms.  No matter what season you’re in, remember that he is there, waiting for you with open arms.  There’s nothing you can do that he can’t forgive, there’s nowhere that you can go that’s out of his reach.  He welcomes us home the moment we surrender and let him lead. He is always on time.

“Always on Time” feat. Rachel Hilton @ Mt. Pleasant Church

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/39d11e_fe53bb6058714bad8605bcdae24ffb57/file